In anticipation of the arrival of the latest issue of Other People Exist, subscribers may want to take this opportunity to perform their annual mailbox maintenance.



For ease of maintenance, you may find it easier to unmount your mailbox and perform these procedures at your workbench.

Begin by removing and cleaning the hinge pin. Scrape away any rust with a wire brush. Coat the hinge with WD-40 or other water-displacing lubricant spray and reassemble. Adjust hinge play per the owner's manual.

Wipe down the interior of the box with a damp rag and allow to fully dry. Tap the box body. It should resound to the blow. Boxes that respond with a dull thud should be replaced.

Inspect your mail pick-up flag for chipping or pitting, and touch up as necessary with red enamel paint. To prevent dripping, do not oversaturate the applicator.

Align your box post using a two-way post level. Remount the box. Add shims as necessary to level the box in the horizontal and vertical planes.

Add a sprig of rosemary or a potpourri sachet to the box to keep your mail smelling fresh.

Your box is ready to receive mail for another year!

Today we mourn the passing of our Sharp AL-800 copier. It was with us for ten years, and it served us well, making approximately 20,000 copies (it has an internal counter somewhere, but we've never seen it). Its paper feeder recently broke off inside, and we knew the end was near. We tried to copy issue #33 of OPE with it, but it was no use. The paper just jammed. I have removed its toner cartridge to give to a friend who owns Sharpie's twin, and Sharpie sits in the hallway, gutted.

In other news, our new copier arrived yesterday. We watched the sales like a hawk and got this one for $99 (with free shipping). It makes 23 copies per minute (almost four times faster than Sharpie) and even does double-sided copies! The zine is so easy to copy now, I may start taking on additional subscribers!

RIP Sharpie.

Another email to lapsed subscribers of OPE

Dear Lapsed Subscriber,
This is Kurt's assistant, Malcolm, again. I hate to be a pest (not true), but I still have not received your remittance for OPE Year Six. Kurt has urged me to "let it slide," but I was not raised that way. My caregivers taught me the importance of responsibility. They also kept me in a laundry hamper until the age of seven, but nobody's perfect.

The point is, those who wish to receive OPE for one more year need to remit $24 to Kurt ASAP. I can't keep writing reminder emails all the time. I have filing to do.

The best part: Kurt will never know that you needed multiple reminders to renew; he'll think you remembered on your own, and it will warm his heart.

The future is up to you,
Mal